In times of strife and drama
When troubles come to men
The Indians have karma,
The Chinese have their zen
The Greeks believed in destiny
To keep them firm and strong
The English we have just one word when things go wrong

Oh, bollocks! It’s pouring down I’m going to get drenched
Oh, bollocks! A bomb’s just landed in this trench
Oh, bollocks. I had to go to court, got sued and lost the trial
I wrote 10,000 words, and then erased the file
Oh bollocks!

William the Conqueror
Came across the sea
King Harold lost his kingdom,
His life, his legacy
When that notorious arrow
Pierced him in his eye
He shook his head so wearily
And muttered with a sigh

Oh, bollocks! Here comes a thousand years of Norman rule
Oh, bollocks! I’ve lost it all I’m such a bloody fool
Oh, bollocks! History will never be the same
And no one in the future will ever know my name.
Oh bollocks!

Life is hard and cruel.
It can really get you down.
Just look it in the eye
And meet it with a frown
Breathe in nice and deep,
Fill you lungs with air
Then utter every consonant and let me hear you swear

Oh, bollocks! I just got hacked my bitcoin has been robbed
Oh bollocks! I used the wrong pronoun and lost me job
Oh bollocks,! I accidentally messaged an old ex
And now she’s in my bedroom and starting to undress
Oh bollocks!

Oh bollocks! My country’s going down the bloody drain
Oh bollocks! Forgot my mask I can’t get on the train
Oh bollocks! Death will come to all of us one day
Well when he comes for me, this is what I'll say
Oh bollocks!