Arise libertarians! Above totalitarians. Our guide is the mighty Invisible Hand. Reject state controllers Collectors, patrollers Our choices are better than government plans. Taxation is a form of theft. Free markets and free trade are best. Free speech, free movement, free minds & free choice Our actions are all voluntary Not coerced or compulsory. War we abhor Socialism does not work. No debt or inflation No stealth confiscation. No pigs in the trough at the gravy to drink. No state education To brainwash our nation. No experts dictate what to do, what to think. We scorn your fiat currency! Gold and bitcoin is our money. We own ourselves, and we live and let live. We take responsibility. Life, love and liberty. Leave us alone. Let a thousand flowers bloom.

I’m on Twitter and I’m angry Talking about politics Railing against the government Corbyn, the Tories, the corporations Immigration, Farage and the state of the nation And here’s a funny picture of a cat I’m a keyboard warrior. I am a keyboard warrior. Keyboard warrior From my hole I will troll. From my Mac I’ll attack You don’t know who I am and I don’t give a damn I will fight via type All through the night Though when you meet me in person I’m polite I’m on Facebook and I’m livid I’m in the comments of the Guardian I’m on an economic forum Brexit is wrong. We want a revolution Where is Russell Brand? Got to find a solution And look at this cute little puppy I am a keyboard warrior. I am a keyboard warrior. Keyboard warrior I am vile and hostile I will scream from my screen You know not to mess cos I’m in battle dress I’ll offend to the end and I will be heard Don’t matter what you say I will have the last word I can only handle confrontation From the safety of a workstation I am a keyboard warrior And I will have the last word

On the 23rd of June in 2016 D7 GM The people of the United Kingdom - and Gibraltar - went to vote GM CM On an issue that for some had been burning for years D7 GM The question in full - and unaltered - was - I quote GM CM Should the United Kingdom remain D7 a member of the European Union GM GM or leave the European Union? GM CM GM It was the greatest democratic turnout in British history, I do not scoff D7 GM And when the time came to speak the British said (musical trill) fuck off G G D7 G Campaigning had gone on for many a month G G D7 D7 With debate and discussion on many a front G G D7 C They’d argued they’d fought they’d smeared and pulled stunts C C C C And David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne. Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC. D7 D7 G G G D7 G G The British told them to fuck off. The British told them to fuck off. G G D7 G If you vote to leave, you’ll lose your job G G D7 D7 Vote to leave, you’ll lose your home. G G D7 C The ensuing recession will last for years Said David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne. And the Treasury. Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC. The Bank of England. Mark Carney. The EU. The IMF. The US president. Saint Obama. Back of the cue. Loads of celebrities. Gary Lineker. JK Rowling. Benedict Cumbertwat. Lord Adonis. Who the fuck’s he anyway? D7 D7 G G G D7 G G The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs. G G D7 G They wheeled in the experts to tell us what’s right G G D7 D7 They gave us the benefit of their foresight G G D7 C To leave is calamitous, that’s definite. C Food shortages. No medicine. Planes grounded. House price crash. ½ a million jobs lost. Cost of £4,300 to every home. Stock market collapse. Riots. No sandwiches.There’d be an outbreak of super-gonorreah. They seriously said that. No Mars Bars. No fish and chips. Donald Tusk at the EU said it would be the end of Western civilization as we know it. I’m not joking. And one more thing. If you vote to leave, that makes you racist. The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs. The vote is final, there’s no going back Although now they want to go back and re-vote I think we know what the answer will be To Gary Lineker. Alastair Campbell. Dominic Grieve. Chuka Umana. Keir Starma. Vince Cable. Anna Soubry (not a Nazi). Rory Bremner. Patrick Stewart. Armando Ianucci. Delia Smith. Steve Coogan. David Lammy. Lord Adonis. Who the fuck’s he anyway? The British will tell them fuck off. Seventeen million fuck-offs

They said he a misogynist. A liar and cheat An alt right sexual predator, Uncontrolled and indiscreet Of colluding with the enemy And treason he’s accused Of sexual misconduct And distributing fake news A narcissistic bullying national threat Yet Maybe Donald Trump is not all bad. I know that very thought will make you mad Employment is up, taxes are down , he’s talking to North Korea Doesn’t like Sadiq Khan, will not bomb Iran. Is there really all that to fear? Maybe Donald Trump is not all bad They said that the world over it was trusted and admired Truthful and impartial. And at times even inspired. It’s many finest moments oh so fondly we recall This cherished national treasure that was loved by one and all. This cherished national treasure that brought laughter joy and tears And unified the nation for the course of many years. It educated, it informed and entertained All the same Maybe we should re-think the BBC Why do we need state supplied TV It’s oh so pious And riddled with bias Could it’s programmes be any blander Don’t watch it you say? You’ve still got to pay For this centrist propaganda. Why should the licence fee be mandatory They said she was a strategist, Consistent through and through Experienced and competent, Of judgement sound and true Though lacking in charisma, She’s forceful and refined A strong and stable leader, For these dark and dangerous times This shrewd operator has it all. Well planned. On the other hand Maybe Theresa May should get the sack. I think at least we can agree on that. Incompetence reigns. Her Brexit’s insane. Chaos is unabated. Never says what she thinks about anything. It’s like she’s automated. Maybe There’s May should get the sack.

Who made the laws on drugs? The Government. Who ignored child rape gangs? The Government. Who put our kids into debt? The Government. Yet we expect the government to sort it out. Duh Fuck the government Fuck the government Fuck the government Sit on my finger and swivel on my face Who goes to war in Iraq? The Government Who likes to bail out banks? The Government Who sent house prices so high? The Government Yet we expect the government to sort things out. Duh Fuck the government Your laws are too repressive Fuck the government Your taxes are aggressive Fuck the government You welfare is oppressive I wouldn’t even deign to shit on your face It wasn’t free speech caused wars, you see. It wasn’t free trade caused poverty. Free movement didn’t cause inequality. It was your interventionist policies. Fuck the government The people are suppressed Fuck the government Taxation is theft Fuck the government Anarchy is best I’d like to take this ukulele And shove it up you arse

Sometimes … when I’m all alone … late at night … I pour myself a glass of wine … sit down in front of my computer … and type in your name ... And there you are … on YouTube … talking … like you do … and they’re all shouting at you and putting you down … and you just carry on … And I don’t know … I think … I think … I think ... I could be in love with Nigel Farage Secretly in love with Nigel Farage I'm looking at you, Nigel Farage I’m dreaming at night of Nigel Farage He’s so brave and he speaks so well. He is consistent, though they smear him like hell. He stands tall and he dresses so well. He likes a pint and a fag as well. Wo-oh I’ve fallen for in love with NF I’m secretly in love NF I want to have a pint with Nigel Farage Maybe give a full-body massage No more distant unaccountable bureaucratic bodies with Nigel Farage No more Common Agricultural Policy with Nigel Farage No more EU fisheries quotas with Nigel Farage Sovereignty restored with Nigel Farage.

Sometimes you find yourself with an opinion. That’s it all it is a point of view. You ain’t gonna kill people with it. You ain’t going to stab someone with your opinion. But it’s not the opinion they want you have … It’s not the right opinion … So you keep it to yourself … And they tell you their opinion … You may not even want to hear it, but they tell you … I’m not talking about taxi drivers here, but left-wing comedians … They tell you their opinion. Man they shove it down your throat … And you say, well, I’m not sure that’s right … could be another side to that … and they look at you … and they say … You’re a far-right, racist homophobe You’re a facist, you’re a sexist you’re a xenophobe You’re a gammon, you idealogue, you chauvinist You Tory scum, you capitalist You’re a bigot, you’re wingnut, you’re a swivel-eyed loon And you’ll get your frickin’ justice you extremist buffoon You’re spreading hate, you’re spreading hate, you’re spreading hate So this guy I met he was telling me about Jeremy Corbyn … how he’s going to save the country … and I was like I’m not convinced about that guy … And he was saying no, socialism is the best way to help people … And I said I’m not sure about thar either … I’m not sure a lot of people even want helping out. A lot of them just want to be left alone … And he started telling me that these people need helping out, even if they don’t know it … and socialism is the way … And I started thinking of places where they tried socialism … Russia and China, Germany had that National Socialism thing going on, Cuba and Venezuela ain’t working so well today … and I couldn’t think of one where it worked … and he said no, that wasn’t real socialism … … and I said are you sure? … and he looked at me and he said … You’re a far-right, racist homophobe You’re a facist, you’re a sexist you’re a xenophobe You patriarch, you’re biphobic Transphobic, Islamaphobic I’m offended by your views you should do a lot time Having wrong opinions is a hate crime You’re spreading hate, you’re spreading hate, you’re spreading hate So I went for a drink in that place Wetherspoon’s …and there was this girl outside telling people that they shouldn’t go in … since that guy Tim Martin, the owner, came out in favour of Brexit. She said if you go into Weatherspoon’s, you are funding hate … And I said it’s only three pound fifty a pint, I ain’t funding that much hate ... and I said I’m part Italian I’ve seen the youth unemployment in southern Europe and I don’t want to support that … the EU might not be such a good thing … big government, big corporations, big tech for me it’s all part of the same problem … and I think decisions are better made locally … and she looked at me and she said … You’re a far-right, racist homophobe You’re a facist, you’re a sexist you’re a xenophobe You views are so bad, you’re views are so wrong I’m having a meltdown I just carry on. You’re literally Hitler. You’re literally him. You must be excommunicated for this wrong think. You’re spreading hate. You’re spreading hate. You’re spreading hate. Mental explosion!

A lot of people say hip hop is aggressive. CUE Well this is passive aggressive hip hop. It’s a new musical genre. Instead of grime, we’re calling it whine. Passive aggression. In the session. A lot of people don’t know what passive aggression is, but I can tell you want it is … if you really want … though I’m not sure you’ll understand it ... Passive aggression when it sounds like you're being gentle, reasonable, passive But you’re actually being … aggressive I’m absolutely fine up here by the way … by myself … thanks for asking … Hi. My name is, my name is, my name is - I have to say it three times because you’re not just not listening. Passive aggression In the session I’m not asking who let the dogs out, all I’m saying is that the dogs are out, and somebody’s going to have to put them back. And I think we all know who that person’s going to be. I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed. Passive aggression In the session Isis has created many martyrs. Passive aggression has created even more. Yes, you can kick it. Do you really need to kick it? Why not just move it out of the way. It is the expression of hostility, but indirectly … such as through sulking, turning up late, leaving moody notes on the fridge, or repeatedly not doing what you’ve been told to do … I love how you just wear anything … you just don’t care what people think … have you lost weight? I bet you were really good looking when you were younger … “you’re like the ugliest, most useless person I’ve ever met in my life. No offence. … I was only joking … There’s a perfectly good system to fight the power … we’ve been using it for years … it’s called the ballot box … Teenagers can be passive aggressive Football managers can be passive aggressive, Politicians can be passive aggressive The Guardian can be passive agrressive. Women are … can be passive aggressive That was passive aggressive This song is passive aggressive If you don’t know what passive aggression by now … I can explain it to you again, but I don’t think I can really help you understand.

Went for a pint the other a day With my old mate, his name is Jay To have a catch up, as is our way Oh, what a surprise. I mentioned Brexit positively My mate lost his temper right speedily All in a moment he handed to me Two lovely black eyes. CHORUS: Two lovely black eyes! Oh, what a surprise! Only for telling a man he is wrong, Two lovely black eyes!. Don’t mention Leave I thought it best When having a chat about Brexit next. The merits of Remain instead I stressed Oh, what a surprise. This time my mate was a Leaver true, The EU is wrong and no right can do, I got my share of that side too, Two lovely black eyes. Two lovely black eyes. Oh, what a surprise. Only for having a view that is wrong, Two lovely black eyes!. The moral of the tale be in no doubt Is never on Brexit rave and shout, Leave it to others to fight it out, If you would be wise. Better, far better, it is to let, Remainers and leavers alone, you bet, Unless you're willing and anxious to get Two lovely black eyes. Two lovely black eyes. Lord, what a surprise. Only for thinking a thought thought that is wrong Two lovely black eyes. Two lovely black eyes. Two lovely black eyes. Two lovely black eyes. Ow!

My soul doth sing and my heart doth leap When I catch sight of compost heap. Let me explain what there is to behold In this putrefying, festering mound of mould. Cut grass and leaves, bygone meals, Old tea bags, stale bread, potato peel, Bananas turned black and egg shells galore, All coated in powdery-blue fungal spore. All those things you don’t want, you just throw them here And nutritious soil will appear in a year Thanks to worms and ants, beetles and lice. It is a creepy crawly paradise. They tirelessly process the peel and the rind With nothing but their own self-interest in mind. Nothing is wasted, nor centrally planned. It’s like Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand. This is an example it’s plain to see Of a functioning, free-market economy.