I don’t have big muscles
I’m not six foot tall
I’m don’t have a six pack
I don’t have shedloads of money
Or a fancy home
Or a flashy car

But there was a huge international survey … and the results showed … There’s one thing I do have … And it’s irresistible

I’ve got the sexiest accent in the world
It makes all other nations swoon and swirl
Don’t believe me?
They did a global test
And found that English
Is the sexiest.

I’ve got the sexiest accent in the world
Look at the effect it has on girls
They mustn’t see me
Cos then it all gets odd
Only hear me
And then I’m a love god

So if I want a love affair to last
I have to do it through the medium of podcast
Nothing in vision
You switch the camera off
You need some ear pods
And then you will get off


They didn’t say French or Italian or Irish, they said English.

And by English, they didn’t mean up north … right sexy … or out west … right sexy … they mean the accent of those that commanded the British empire ...

You might be one of these people that suffers from some kind of post colonial loathing of anything white, English or male
Whatever

I’ve got the sexiest accent in the world
Whenever I speak knickers get hurled
With just one listen
You’ll be so up for it
The foreign ladies
Oh, they adore it

In this age of post colonial guilt
Consider the effects of the English lilt
You want to obey
Then disobey it next
In equal measure
That’s why it’s great for sex

My accent’s like some sexual power tool
Just because I went to public school
When women hear it
They want to take the plunge
Because my accent’s
A magnet for the clunge

I’ve got the sexiest accent in the world
If only I could actually meet a girl