I’ve fallen so in love with this girl
Her name is … Gary
My mates says say Gary isn’t actually a girl
I don’t care

I want to marry Gary
Is this some kind of joke
Gary is a bloke
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary

This is just absurd
Gary’s not a bird

I don’t care
I want to marry Gary


Gary likes football and quizzes and going down the pub
And in the summer time she hangs out at the cricket club
I’m wanna marry Gary

Gary’s got a beard
You’re being very weird

I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
She opens the batting
She looks like Mike Gatting

I don’t care
I wanna marry Gary
Gary’s having time off from her job. She’s a scaffolder
Cos at the weekend playing rugby, she dislocated her shoulder

You’re having a laugh
Gary plays scrum half
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary

Gary’s not a dame
The clue is in his name

I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
Gary likes steak and baked potato for her tea
And then she’ll watch a science programme on Discovery
I’m going to marry Gary

Gary’s got a van
Gary is a man

I don’t care
I want to marry Gary

He’s got a hairy back
And a hairy sack

I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary

Gary says gender is nothing more than a social construct
My mates say Gary’s talking out of her rectal duct

I’m going to marry Gary

It’s not hard to tell
This will not end well

I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary

You’ll have a nasty shock
Gary’s got a cock

I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary

We’ve been here before
Several times before)

I don’t care
There was your girlfriend Barry
And then before that Harry
And what became of Larry?

I don’t care
Gary, Gary, Gary